I feel like I had barely picked up a crochet hook when my brain decided to start dreaming of weird crafting ideas. Here I am, barely able to tell a front loop from a back loop and yet, I’m feeling overwhelmingly compelled to put together my own patterns.

 

I’ve never let a complete lack of competence stop me from giving something new a try. Just, like, in the privacy of my room, where nobody can see me. Perfectly happy to dance like nobody’s watching as long as nobody is, in fact, watching. So, I quietly decide that I’ll come up with something basic to make, and keep it a secret from all my yarn buddies until it’s totally perfected. Then, and only then, will I show everybody the stunning and perfect result of my burst of creativity. They’ll gaze upon me and my new pattern in wonder, then I’ll post it on Etsy and Ravelry, and it will be so cool that everyone will want to buy it and I’ll quit my job and retire to my yarn throne.

So, where to start? My idea is pretty basic. I like to go on walks around my town, and my girly pants pockets don’t fit my sunglasses case. I don’t want to have to carry a purse, so wouldn’t it be ingenious if I had a bag that could attach to my belt? Something small, just enough to fit a few things to carry around places where a purse would be a pain. This is so clever! I search for “belt pouch” patterns on Ravelry and it’s clearly a wide open market. I’m on a roll already with idea #1. 

Now, time to come up with a simple beginner-friendly design. First decision – NO SEWING. If I wanted to sew, I wouldn’t have picked up a crochet hook. I decide to use my amigurumi construction skills to build a lovely rectangular bottom bag that can be worked upward in a continuous spiral. A little bit of front and back loop stitching, a little standing stitch joinery, and VOILA – a cute little pouch hooks to my belt and holds all my shit. Exactly what I needed, and every woman I know will be desperate to have their own.

That’s right, I have unwittingly and with great enthusiasm invented a slightly less convenient fanny pack. One that requires you already have a belt. 

On the bright side, it does have a number of positive features!

1. Exactly the right size to hold exactly the shit I need, because I built it myself
2. The women I know DID want to have their own, because things made from yarn are cuter than things made from nylon
3. Has a cool gigantic button on the front because I felt like it should
4. Has a hole on the top for a headphone cord so I can wear my giant “fuck you I don’t want to talk to anyone” corded headphones around town more often
5. Can easily have a belt or shoulder strap added, if you’re a Choose Your Own Adventure kind of maker.

Most importantly, I had so much fun designing my first crochet object d’art. It was fun to get to be creative, I liked taking all the petty notes, thinking through all the math on sizing, and figuring out how I would explain what I was doing to somebody else. It wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be, and I’m already starting on designing my next weird thing. 

If you’d like to make your own kind-of-a-fanny-pack crochet belt pouch, you can find my pattern for sale on Etsy. As with any of my patterns, if you find anything about it confusing, reach out to me. Always appreciative of feedback, so I can make the patterns better!